A Dumping Ground for Corpses and Information

I've been criminally negligent in my session reports for the Monday night Moldvay game. Though we only run for three hours per session, a hell of a lot has happened in the 27 hours in which this campaign has been played. Here are the bullet points:

Session 4 (03.22.2010) "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Ape"

-The Lucky Brigand meets his end at the tip of a Goblin Arrow. The PCs discover an enchanted Orangutan with his arm stuck in a hole. Smallie Biggs and Gary Gobblecox help free the ape. Ivorique notices that the Orangutan's hand bears an injury matching the one Gary dealt to the Giant Monster Arm in Session 3. A trio of medieval executioners bursts into the room. Ivorique and Elroy the Bugler Boy are killed in the ensuing battle.

Campaign Body Count: 2

Session 5 (03.29.2010) "Conversations With Dead People/ The Witch's Trial"

-Two new PCs show up: a cleric named Panini Penguini ("Like Chef Boyardi crossed with Mario") and Figerfel Mufflestauffer, hapless halfling with a heart of gold.

-The PCs meet Hopkins, the ghostly librarian of Hell's Convent. Conversation with Hopkins reveals that:

-Gabriel Tycho (Son of Moonville's mayor, first mentioned by the Lucky Brigand in Session 3) has been wandering the halls and conversing with the spirits of Hell's Convent since he was a boy. He is also the creator of the murals painted throughout the Convent, which illustrate stories told to him by the ghost of Anton Phantom.

-Anton Phantom is in control of Gabriel and had him kidnap Illyria Moonrider, believing her to be the reincarnation of Persephone (High Priestess of the Sybelline Sisterhood and the woman who cursed Anton Phantom and his men to undeath).

-Gabriel is found. A trial is convened, The Abominable Anton Phantom presiding. The PCs give violent testimony, and Gabriel is killed. Gould O'fall is possessed by the Phantom as it leaves Gabriel's body. Gary kills Gould in self-defense. Illyria is rescued. The bones of Anton Phantom and his men are discovered and burned. The Phantom is defeated. Or is he?

Campaign Body Count: 3

Session 6 (04.05.2010) "The Job"

The next two sessions are taken from "Old Feodol's Basement" in Dungeon Crawl Classics #29.

-Smallie Biggs and Gary Gobblecox are hired by Denell Barthada to locate his father's will before his evil sister Larissa can get her hands on it. Meanwhile, in another tavern, Figerfel Mufflestauffer and Panini Penguini are hired by Larissa Barthada to locate her father's will before her evil brother Dennel can get his hands on it. Ha!

-The two groups bump into each other as they attempt to break into Old Man Barthada's place. They decide to secure the will for themselves in order to see what the hell is going on.

-A secret room is discovered, along with evidence that Old Man Barthada was a master thief in life. A magic candle is found. Connections to The House of Tasteful Gentlemen and Moonville's teenage brigand problem are inferred. Mysteries deepen. Baboons are battled. Moonville's Monkey Menace is starting to look serious.

Session 7 (04.12.2010) "Eat Me, Drink Me, Riddle Me, Mutilate Me"

-Potions of Diminution are drunk and common mice are battled. A riddle is solved and a death trap avoided. Smallie discusses matters of import with a snake. The Will is discovered, as is a double cross. Dennel Barthada attacks, and is killed. Larissa is captured alive, and is relieved of her trappings (a Potion of Gaseous Form and a magical dagger of Agarthan design). In the light of the magic candle, Old Man Barthada's will is revealed to be a treasure map.

Session 8 (04.19.2010) "Little People of the Monolith"

From DCC 51.5 "The Sinister Secret of Whiterock"

-Larissa is turned over to Moonville's new sheriff, Garlan Grellhelm (Illyria's stepfather). A bounty is paid and a journey is undertaken. The treasure map leads to a monolith in the hills above Moonville, and a secret door is located therein. The PCs descend into the depths of the earth. Figerfel falls down a well. A rescue effort is mounted. An important lesson about how much rope one should take on a dungeoneering expedition is learned, and Smallie Biggs dangles at the end of it. Figerfel decides he prefers Gaseous Form to drowning, and a potion is quaffed. Giant Rats attack.

Session 9 (04.26.2010) "The Missing Mountain"

-Smallie Biggs battles rats while Figerfel Fartcloud explores his subterranean surroundings. Gary comes to Smallie's aid by jumping into the well without a light source or any sense of the well's depth! ADVENTURE! Hilarity ensues and somehow they both manage to survive. The party is now split three ways. Panini Penguini is killed by Little People. The party is now split two ways. Figerfel finds a door that giggles. Bioluminescent Fungi are discovered, along with eight crystal columns which contain pictograms depicting the seven mountains of the Moonstone Mountain range. However, an eighth mountain is also depicted, one which corresponds to no known landmark. The floor descends. An Elf named Vittorio introduces himself. Figerfel returns to solid form, lacking clothing or gear, and licks a shroom, resulting in a glowing, naked halfling which provides dim illumination in a 15' radius. Little People appear. The party is surrounded!

Campaign Body Count: 4

The Stars My Decimation

So, I was rearranging some of the crap currently littering the hallowed halls of American Barbarica HQ last night when I realized that my copy of Traveller was sitting right beside the Spelljammer box set, both of which were mere feet from X1: The Isle of Dread.

My sunday game could use a shot in the arm.

Do I dare?

Does Anybody Here Speak Neutral?

On starting my Moldvay campaign, one of my main goals was to use the rules exactly as written. This is, I think, an interesting exercise and can lead to a lot of fun for anyone willing to accept game rules as the literal physical laws of the game's milieu*. So far I've stuck to my guns. However, four sessions ago (which is, coincidentally, the number of session reports I'm behind on), I made a mistake which has ultimately led to what I think is an enjoyable quirk of the Monday night campaign.

In the Moldvay basic booklet, the second sentence of page 13 says "All characters and monsters capable of speech speak the language of their alignment (Lawful, Neutral, or Chaotic)". Somehow (probably owing to the quantity of wine I had drunk), I managed to forget the three bold words in the previous sentence. In my defense, they are not bolded in the actual book, possibly because Tom Moldvay didn't suspect anyone would be dumb enough to screw this up, but then again, Tom Moldvay never had me as a player.

Because I forgot these three words, I allowed Smallie Biggs (the dwarf in our campaign) to use alignment language to speak with an orangutan. I guess the idea of a drunken dwarf trying to use some bizarre combination of gesticulation and cant to avoid combat with an ape entertained me enough to let it fly. I figure no harm was done, and it's a funny moment in the ongoing story of the campaign.

However, Smallie has since used alignment language to speak to a cobra and a pair of baboons (there's a bit of a Johnny Quest theme to my home-brew encounter tables). I considered disallowing this, but only briefly, because that original encounter with the orangutan had become a memorable part of the established canon.

Sometimes mistakes lead to good things. In this case, a mistake led to a game world in which all animals can talk and be understood- as long as you share the same cosmic world view, i.e. alignment. Some may see this as a bad, silly, or outright stupid thing, but I'm happy it happened. It opens the setting to ideas I might never have other wise considered, and perhaps more importantly, it provides more opportunities for role playing. I think negotiating with a Grizzly Bear could make for a more entertaining game situation than simply drawing swords and fighting one. And anyway, if the PCs fuck up the negotiation they'll still get a chance to be mutilated, so it's a win/win.

The concept of talking animals has been around for about as long as humans have been telling stories. If it's good enough for Bullfinch, it's good enough for me.

*another word I only know because of Gygax.

World's Best Dungeon Master

I Smell a Mystery!

The staff at American Barbarica has spent the last several days trying to discern the identity of Oberon Sexton, AKA the Gravedigger, AKA a mysterious but central character in Grant Morrison's excellent run on Batman & Robin. We would like to make our conclusions a matter of public record.

I don't know if predictions count as spoilers, but be warned that this post may or may not include the solution to the Greatest Funnybook Mystery of Our Time. I will endeavor to keep specifics to a minimum, but if you haven't read up to issue #11, you might wanna come back during Swamp Monster Week.

Okay. Here goes.

American Barbarica's official prediction for the conclusion of the Domino Killer/Mexican Train storyline goes like this: 

In issue #12, Damian (controlled by Deathstroke) will end up killing Dick Grayson. Wracked by guilt at having killed a "good man" and leaving Gotham without a protector, Damian makes the decision to sell his soul to Dr. Hurt/Thomas Wayne/THE DEVIL, and thus becomes the Batman of the future we saw/will see in Batman issue #666. 

However, the Omega Effect which eventually returns Bruce Wayne will also affect Damian, causing him to come unstuck in time just like dear old dad. Damian of the future will take up the disguise of Oberon Sexton in order to prevent the 10 year old Damian of the past from making the infernal bargain.

Thus, Oberon Sexton is Damian Wayne.

We could be wrong, of course. But American Barbarica stands by this post.

Note: anyone looking for a much deeper, thought provoking review of Batman & Robin should avail themselves of Rikdad's blog.

-this message has been brought to you by Booberry and Grizzlebane, amateur dicks.

God Bless The 10th Doctor...

I spent this afternoon catching up on Doctor Who, and was rewarded with a 200' tall steam-driven Cyberman circa 1851 from "The Next Doctor". This episode gets bonus XP for including a carbine rifle that shoots a cathode death ray!

(Yes, that is a human pilot inside the robot's mouth).

For a while now, I've suspected that David Tenant's run as the 10th Doctor might eventually unseat Tom Baker's 4th Doctor as a personal fave. Any remaining doubt was blasted away the moment I saw the Cyber King striding across Dickensian London, like an IG-88 action figure stuck inside one of my mom's snow globes.