Meet Mr. Hong

Mr. Hong is the proprietor of Hong's Lucky Leviathan Tea House in Feng Du province. He was a decorated officer in the Imperial Navy, a submarine captain who served with distinction in the campaign against the Daikaiju of Dokuro Island. Hong is a salty old man, as handy with a proverb as he is with a dirty joke. He is a good singer, especially fond of battle hymns. His Fish Head soup is legendary throughout the province.

The Lucky Leviathan Tea House holds many relics from Hong's naval career. Medals, ribbons, and commendations are draped over the shrine to Hotei (the largest in the province), and an enormous Steam Harpoon hangs above the bar. This makes the tea house a popular hangout for sailors and veterans, who love to hear Hong tell whoppers about his days at sea. Sometimes his tales turn melancholy and on these nights Hong closes early but his sad, drunken singing can be heard late into the night.

It is public knowledge that Hong's great grandfather was a Kappa, but broaching the subject is considered impolite and anyone who teases him on his heritage is likely to find themselves staring down the barrel of a Steam Harpoon.

"Illustration" by Booberry for American Barbarica

Duel of the Ultimate Weapons

Today I paid a visit to Guardian Games to score a copy of OA1 Swords of the Daimyo. The dude behind the counter asked if I was interested in the Legend of Five Rings CCG, because they're sponsoring a tournament tonight and the top prize is a samurai sword. The sword was on display and was suitably impressive looking for something that was obviously designed as a promotional item.

While chatting, I mentioned that giving away weapons as contest booty is always a crapshoot because you never know who the winner is going to be. I mean, for all you know it could be some guy who's trained all his life just to win that sword and take it on a killing spree. This was just an offhanded comment not really meant to be taken seriously. However, it would soon be made clear to me that the notion was not unique to myself because the dude began to articulate his contingency plan for exactly such a disastrous turn of events.

What followed was a slightly psychotic discussion about how one would best defend oneself against a lone swordsman in a retail environment. Other medieval weapons, apparently also kept on the premises, were integral to the plan. Disposal of corpses had also been objectively thought out. It seemed, to my ears at least, a workable defense plan.

Game stores and comic shops are the only real public forum for these kinds of discussions.

After leaving the store, I made a mental note never to start shit or try and go on a killing spree in Guardian Games. They are ready.

Two Men Enter, One Samurai Leaves

After a day of brainstorming and a flood of ideas, Sword Opera has emerged in my mind as a clear winner for my Dungeon Alchemy project. Pete Mullen’s amazing cover to Ruins & Ronin cleared up any remaining doubts. I adore Pete’s stuff and this new piece is positively spellbinding:



It's perfect. I generally find Pete's work mindblowing, but this one kicked my brain a few feet further from my head than I could have expected.

I’m still vaguely amused by the concept of The Children’s Crusade, but it’s a one trick pony and would almost certainly fail under long term play. Also, since I started trying to organize my thoughts on the two settings, the word count on Sword Opera (consisting mainly of a lot of free writing and half sentences) is nearly eight times that of the Children’s Crusade. Last, The Children’s Crusade would definitely be a game about something (regardless of how dumb that thing is), whereas Sword Opera isn’t about anything. And that’s the way I want my games to be. Games About Things expect you to engage them in a specific way, whereas Games That Are Not only require that you let your hair down and have a good time. The latter seems a lot more attractive to this 34 year old DM.

It is my promise that Sword Opera will never be about anything.

Here are a couple of the ideas/goals I have for this project:
- a medium size sandbox to explore
- lots of NPCs
- expanded rules for Intelligent Swords, because all magical swords will be intelligent
- a fairly brutal set of Critical Hit charts including plenty of dismemberment
(which brings us to)
- ways to replace lost limbs with cyborg bits. When I say cyborg bits, I’m talking Shogun Warrior style: big ass, failure prone robot arms that can shoot off their fists as missile weapons.



I had been thinking of doing this thing as a kitchen sink kinda deal, but I think it would be better to provide some limits on the setting. It’s generally more rewarding for me to pick a handful of elements and find ways to make them fit together. I think it also makes for a better result. Then I try and envision it as a lost pilot for an 80's cartoon series. If I can see it clearly I know I'm on the right track. I’m still choosing exactly which elements I want to work with, but my current 10 word pitch is “Mythical Samurai Western with Hella Weird Monsters and Robot Fists”.

For the purposes of this blog, any rule info I post will be in Retro Clone terms to make it more generally useful to anyone likely to use it in the first place.