So, during last weeks session I was "supercharging my brain muscle" by consuming a bag of Peanut Butter M&M's (the ones in the red bag; probably not delicious enough to ensnare an E.T. like Reese's Pieces but they work in a pinch). As it happens, I also needed to roll for one of the Xavadar Crypt Serpent's attacks at precisely the same moment as my candy fix. I pop an M&M into my mouth just as I cast my lucky red D20 (which hits critically about 20% of the time due to the fact that it came with my Holmes set). I go to check the result, saw a 'M' instead of a number, and realize that I'd rolled the M&M and that the D20 was in my mouth! I came *this* close to biting down on that hallowed relic!
Johnny Cash once said that if you were gonna do drugs you should always keep your pills in one pocket and your change in the other, because one time he accidently swallowed like 85 cents during a bender. My wife would be sooo pissed if I survived all this cancer business, only to choke to death on a fucking D20 in the middle of a game.
My life cracks me up.